When the Wave Comes: A Surfer's Wisdom from the Water

“Sometimes it’s like this.” — Ajahn Sumedho

My eldest son returned home for the holidays and I found myself awed by how his years of surfing continue to shape not just his character but his entire worldview. Beyond the obvious thrills — the triumph of catching the perfect wave, the pure freedom of being connected only to one’s board and the humbling feeling of floating alone in the vast ocean expanse — surfing has woven itself into the fabric of his entire being. Through our quiet fireside chats, a gentle reminder emerged: finding stillness amidst the uncertainty when facing forces larger than ourselves.

Think about it. A surfer must accept the waves as they come, just as they are, knowing they cannot control the ocean — they can only feel their intuition, make mindful choices as conditions change and maintain a humble reverence for its power.

Much like life itself, not every wave the ocean presents is one worth riding. Some surfers frantically paddle to every possible wave. Others learn to wait, reading the ocean and its surrounding conditions. They rest quietly atop their boards, breathing and centering themselves before committing to a wave that feels right. It’s not about acting on impulse to control the uncontrollable. Rather, it’s about observing what unfolds before them — the wave’s shape, direction and breaking point — and choosing mindfully which wave to ride, if any at all.

Consider a big wave scenario. When a surfer sees that wall of water approaching, their nervous system automatically triggers fear or resistance. These instinctive responses are part of being human — they’re our body’s natural signals. Rather than reacting on impulse, experienced surfers pause to feel what’s present. Sometimes that means letting the wave pass by, sometimes diving beneath its force, other times riding its momentum exactly as it comes. Through it all, surfers navigate both waves — internal and external — while staying grounded in the awareness of their present moment experience.

This same principle translates to life’s challenges. When metaphorical waves hit — whether it’s losing a beloved pet, navigating relationship struggles or facing professional setbacks — our instinctual resistance often intensifies the struggle. What if we adopted a surfer’s mindset? We could pause to find that place of stillness where we first feel into the experience, then discern what’s needed to meet life’s currents with presence and balance.

These reflections led me to a recent talk titled “Navigating Challenging Times” by Andrew Holecek — a teacher and author whose work has deeply influenced me. He speaks of finding refuge in our inner stillness, goodness and compassion as a vital path through obstacles. Rather than getting caught in spirals of catastrophizing and reactivity, we can meet the intensity of our experience with an open awareness that acknowledges, “Yes, this really hurts!”

For those moments when impulsivity or tension has us in its grip, or when the rug is pulled out from under us, Holecek offers a simple yet profound practice: a one breath practice to help release the mind-body’s contractions. This single in-breath and out-breath creates just enough space to feel our emotions and return to our quiet center, allowing us to speak and act from a more calm and grounded place.

Furthermore, Holecek suggests that what feels broken often holds the seeds of transformation. Take a shattered vase. Instead of rushing to glue the pieces back together, we can pause to see the brokenness in a different light. By stepping back from our habitual need to fix everything, we create space for unexpected discoveries — perhaps a creative way to work with what remains or even the beauty in letting go. In that openness, new wisdom surfaces, allowing our experience to transform and reveal fresh possibilities.

This January, as the new year stretches out before us, can we explore a gentler way to navigate life’s challenges? By pausing for one breath, might we embrace the simple truth of ‘right now, it’s like this,’ instead of fighting against the current. Perhaps in cultivating this inner stillness, we become the very peace our world so deeply needs.

If you’re curious and feel motivated, try the 4 Mindful Living tips below around navigating life’s waves.